Fit To Fuck

Yes, that's what I said. It's my fitness philosophy and I'm sticking to it.

I'm a dedicated fitness fanatic, for me it's a time when my head is completely clear and open to inspiration. Spin class is where I write most of my blog posts, I think the lack of oxygen in the room helps with my creative process. It's sort of like the old days of glue sniffing, except healthier.

Now for the last two weeks the weather has been insane even for Valdosta. The heat index is in the triple digits and every one's air conditioning is working over time. I go to the YMCA in town and it feels like a sauna.

The spin room felt like the eighth circle of Hell. People walked by it and looked at all of us with concern and sympathy. At least that's what we saw through the fog of sweat and humidity on the window.

And I could not help but think as I was riding my bike dangerously close to heat stroke and cardiac arrest, "Why am I here? Why don't I just go home to my fairly cool house and let my predestined genetic nature take it's course?"

I come from a long line of short, apple shaped women with skinny arms and legs. Left to it's own devices, that's where my body is headed.

Except I choose hours of brutal exercise, sometimes even over common sense.

Why? For my blood pressure? For vascular fitness? So that I can live longer?

Hell no. I work out so that I can look sexy. That's it. I could give a crap about my cholesterol or blood pressure.

The phrase "Fit to Fuck" actually is a variation of an Air Force program called "Fit to Fight", which prepares airmen (and airwomen) for demanding and rigorous military missions. You get enrolled in that program when you don't pass your yearly physical.

Fit to Fight is also commonly referred to as "Run, Fat Bastard, Run" or I suppose "Run, FUPA, Run" for the girls.

But I think they should rename it with my catch phrase instead. I've seen the airmen enrolled in the program. They are not exercising with enthusiasm. Why would they?. What sort of exciting imagery does "Fit to Fight" conjure up? As soon as some of the weight is off, your formerly fat ass is going to be deployed somewhere that you might possibly not return from.

That's just not very motivating.

However, doesn't Fit to Fuck (Fit to Fornicate for the few prudes I may have in my viewing audience--if you made it this far down the post) sound a lot more fun? Think how much more flexible you'll be, how much more endurance you'll have. Won't you feel good about yourself when you can see your genitals again without having to suck in all your breath? I mean ultimately, we work out to look good for someone. I know there are a lot of people that tell you they "do it for themselves", but I personally do it to look hot for my husband.

If I wanted to do something just for myself, it sure as hell would not involve sitting on a bike going nowhere in an enormous puddle of my own sweat.

It would involve buying myself an insanely expensive piece of jewelry.

And admiring it while having a glass of wine and a block of cheese. With bread, at least a loaf.

God I miss bread.

I have to go ice my knees now, I have another interval training/spin class in twenty one hours.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva