They Make A Cream For That Don't They?

"It's called "Seven Year Itch" and I think that's what's wrong with us.", I told my husband last night when he called to wish us a happy anniversary.

"But we've only been married five.", replied my oh so literal spouse.

"We lived together for two, then married for five. That's seven years all together, I've got the itch."

My husband has mentioned before that one of reasons he loves me is my brutal honesty and lack of feminine "guess what I'm thinking" style of communication. Most of the time he would probably like to guess instead of having my thoughts thrown at him like a bucket of ice water. I must admit, announcing it on our anniversary probably wasn't great timing, but I've never been one to hold things in. People get terrible illnesses when they hold in their thoughts. Then they die early.

The women in my family are long living, but their partners usually aren't. However, I did tell my husband he's not allowed to die young since widows never get invited anywhere and I don't plan on being a shut-in.

It's bad enough now. If you're a new reader to my blog, let me explain. My husband is retired military. We met, fell in love, and three weeks later he deployed for six months. That was to be a pattern, except for increasingly longer deployments. During one of his extended visits we drove to Florida and got married. We've been planning a honeymoon ever since, but haven't found the time.

Then he retired from the military and went to work for an overseas contracting firm. I have accused him many times of having an Iraqi wife, since he's been there since 2002 and it's become something of a joke between us. "How's Leila?", I ask him. That's the imaginary wife's name. "And little Mohammed and Akbar?"

But now he's fretting my seven year itch problem. I would guess he spent the rest of his work day talking around the edge of it with some guy he works with that seems to be a font of marital advice. Men give advice about women with about the same authority as women who think they truly understand the male psyche.

It's trying to fix it that concerns me. It seems to be come from boredom, complacency, and decreased communication. It hits couples with young children worse than couples our age, so that's good. I don't resent him for not being here to raise the Teenager, since it was just the two of us anyway for the first decade of his life.

But it is hard to maintain excitement in marriage when you see your spouse twice a year for a two week visit. Our last one was spent in various doctor's offices everyday as the stress of my husband's job is taking a heavy physical and psychological toll on him.

As far as complacency, we don't have any routines together to get bored with.

And for communication, we have a cell phone with the worst reception ever.

We will have to lean on each other through this time as neither of us really knows anyone here. One of the worst things about being "husbandless" in a small town is that you are completely invisible and don't fit in anywhere. One of my fellow bloggers did a post on becoming a "wife of ..." syndrome sufferer yesterday. Yes, the invisible women syndrome is still alive and well. I never realized that social invitations would only be extended to My Husband and I, not just me alone. My therapist, who is male, has just now gotten it. I would guess he ran it by his wife (also a therapist) and she explained the role of solo females in society to him. We were talking about my lack of social support one session and he labeled my situation as "being in limbo".

Exactly. I'm neither single, divorced, or widowed. Since few people have ever seen or met my spouse during the last seven years, I think sometimes people don't know what to do with me. Solo ladies don't get invited to couples events and everything in the suburbs is about couples.

So everyone please keep their fingers crossed that he will get the stateside job he applied for and get to come home. Our area has been really hit by the recession and there are few, if any jobs here. I had to reassure my husband that I wasn't giving up on our marriage, just stating the facts in my own inimical way. I've put in seven years already and I'm not going anywhere until I get that damn honeymoon I've been trying to plan for years. Plus, I've been working on a book and need more scenes from a marriage type material, preferably my marriage.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva