Pretty Baby

I was watching the "Today" show last Thursday morning and there was a segment on the "divacation" of increasingly younger little girls. They showed a salon just for little girls where they could get facials and manicure/pedicures and bemoaned the fact that we are making these practices a normal part of grooming for young girls. Some child psychologists were trotted out to warn us again about creating children with an overblown sense of entitlement (too late for that), and destroying young girls' self confidence (the media already has done that effectively for us). A tired argument trotted out again as filler material. This type of controversy has been around for decades. Remember Brooke and her Calvin's? Or that dreadful movie she woodenly starred in? No, not "Endless Love" or "Blue Lagoon". I'm so glad that she took the money from her early exploitation films and took a few acting classes, aren't you?



It may come as a surprise to find that I'm not a fan of beautifying little girls; especially when one considers how high maintenance I am. I personally devote most of my life to the relentless quest for prettiness; sometimes to the point of utter stupidity. I currently am working on this piece because I'm hiding in an effort to conceal the horrendous bruising of my upper lip caused by overzealous Juvederming. I currently resemble a victim of domestic violence instead of the picture I brought into the office of Scarlett Johansen's perfect pucker. I normally bruise a little, but I think this time we got a little carried away by collagen. Thank god this is temporary, though difficult to conceal with lipstick.


I have always loved beauty and cosmetics; show me a little girl that doesn't and I will show you a softball player in the making. I think trying on being a woman by tottering around in high heels and lipstick filched from your mother's dresser is a right of passage that gives a wonderful sense of anticipation to impending adulthood. At least the fun parts of being a grown up; if we really wanted children to get a sense of authentic adulthood we could just give them $1800.00 in play money and then print them $2300.00 in bills, plus have their "pretend" car need some crucial repairs. Oh, then lay them off from their "pretend" job. Life's a bitch baby, now suck it up!



All this precocious sexualizing of children disturbs me on so many levels. First of all it emphasizes the purely visual aspect of beauty; which is transitory at best. Though with all the new procedures available for a price I would be looking for at least one Sports Illustrated bathing suit model to be in her forties by at least 2020. Secondly; why are we allowing the media to tell our girls they aren't already beautiful? It's bad enough that grown women are intimidated by unrealistic imagery, now we are inflicting it on children too. I also am troubled by the implication that the only way a woman can attract a partner is through her physical attributes. Men's survival is determined by who is fittest; but we still are determining a woman's on her prettiness. Little girls are competing earlier and earlier for masculine attention at a time when they should be developing practical life skills. Not to sound like some psycho "Total Woman" junkie (anyone seen that magazine?) but I'm surprised how many young women I meet that can do complicated eyeliner, but are unable to cook, sew on a button, or plant a garden. Obviously I believe women have many other gifts to offer besides servitude, but the ability to take care of my family is something I take as much pride in as my career accomplishments. Women have come so far in the last one hundred years; but we must stop the media from setting our girls back another hundred by selling them the idea that hypersexualization is a desirable feminine quality.



I always enjoy hearing what the other side says, and my Teenager has great insight when it comes to the world around him, being at least as opinionated as his mother. I would have assumed that he found girls his age attractive when they are dressed provocatively, but it's quite the opposite for him and his friends. They are quite disdainful of girls in their circle who are heavily made up. As he's into fashion photography and wants to make a career out of it, we tend to have lots of magazines around. We talk fashion in this house and are both huge fans of Guess advertisements. Their models are always breathtaking and I love their latest one, Brooke Shields clone, Emily Didovato. Here's one of her ads:



The Teenager condemned her as looking "slutty". Interesting commentary coming from a sixteen year old boy. His girlfriend, The Petite Beauty, is very naturally pretty. No obvious makeup, cute, non-provocative clothing; she's very fresh looking. This is not to say he doesn't peruse the occasional Playboy or check out scantily clad women on TV, but from having been inundated from birth by heavily sexualized media images he has been completely desensitized to what used to be considered racy. His generation is the one that is probably going to swing back into a more traditional and conservative idea of female sexuality; which is a good thing. I think at this point we are all tired of having such exaggerated sexual imagery shoved at us 24/7. We have gone from sexual revolution to sexual hangover in slightly more than a generation. I showed this picture to my husband this morning and asked him how old the model was. He guessed around 14 as he is aware that young models are often used and made up to look like "real" grown women. I have not actually been able to find out her age, but from my research I believe she might have just graduated high school--a nice Catholic one at that.


I had assumed that all this sexualization we are witnessing had come about at the encouragement of men, but I have since changed my mind. Women are helping enable it by silent complicity; the natural and biologically based urge we have to compete for alpha males has gone totally awry as we actively participate in senseless exaggerations of beauty. Ever watched "Toddlers and Tiaras"? Positively terrifying. And that's just the children. I've been to a few pageants, I live in the South after all. I've watched little girls being strapped into "waist cinchers" because their nine-year old midsections are a bit thick compared to the other girls. I don't think I have ever witnessed anything as heartbreaking as a little girl that didn't get a trophy, I cannot imagine as a mother how you could even subject a child to that sort of psychological torture.

This post isn't supposed to turn into a lecture, my readers are smart women who know this stuff already (and smart men, I have a small male following too). I'm all about the pretty, but save it and savor it for when the time is right. That was half the fun of growing up; the anticipation of getting to wear a bra or high heels for the first time. Going to the salon to get your hair done for a special occasion. Getting to wear makeup to school for the first time. We're cheating our girls by taking the magic out of being female. I don't advocate covering women, but I have to say I have never in my life seen women as sexy as women from the Middle East in traditional garb. Three teen aged girls strolled past us one afternoon in a mall and I got to watch them flirt with the Teenager. Let me tell you, a girl in hijabi (robe and veiled head cover) knows how to be incredibly enticing. They flicked their gorgeously made up eyes at him in an seriously seductive manner and at the bottom of their robe you got a little peek of stovepipe jean legs and high heeled Christian Louboutins. One girl languidly looked at her watch; jingling the gold bracelets that circled a slim wrist. I heard them giggle when he almost ran into a pole staring back at them. There were also many scantily dressed women there, but they were not half as interesting to look at as the covered women.

Curiosity is a good thing. Lets bring a little mystery back!