The F Bomb Dropped On My Face

It's that time of the month again for the hell that is Fraxel aka "The F Bomb". If you have been through laser resurfacing of any sort you know how uncomfortable it can be.

This is my fourth treatment, so by now I should be seeing some serious results from all this facial tasering I have undergone in the name of beauty. The hideous greasiness is lidocaine ointment that we smeared on an hour before procedure.

If your not a regular reader, let me stop for a moment to explain what the hell Fraxel is and why in the world anyone would choose to do this to themselves.

Fraxel is non-ablative laser resurfacing that leaves the epidermis, or upper layer of the skin intact. Instead it goes deep into the dermal layers and creates microscopic wounds in the collagen that cause tissue coagulation in an attempt to tighten up the skin's structure. After watching a face lift procedure on "Nip and Tuck" I was so traumatized by the sight of a face being peeled off the muscle and bone that I decided to put off having one forever. Lucky me, new procedures are being created all the time to make this a possibility. I have set an aging deadline for myself; the cut off date is sixty. After sixty I plan to age as ungracefully as possible and am finally going to eat everything I've missed out on for the last thirty-five years. I won't be wearing purple or a silly red hat, but I will be sporting a truly epic sized ass and a goatee.

I have two more treatments to go after this one and we are adding a twist on next month's treatment. My skin goddess Christy is off to a plastic surgeon's conference in Las Vegas in a few weeks so that she can learn even more than she does now. She just had a new procedure done to herself that combines Fraxel with CO2 lasering for an even smoother and tighter result. Since she already looked like a college girl, she now looks barely legal. I took one look at her today and immediately ordered the same thing.

CO2 lasering is the ablative type and it is hardcore. I've seen several after pictures of people following CO2 lasering and they are scary as hell. It looks like a blow torch has been applied to your face. There's lots of scabbing and ugly, weeping sores for a few weeks, but the final results are fantastic. She already had gorgeous skin, however now it is transcendent. She has no pores or lines of any kind anywhere on her face or neck. I would hate her if she wasn't so damn nice.

We did do the Fraxel a little different today. We left the numbing lidocaine ointment on while she tasered me and it didn't hurt as bad. I didn't swell as much either, so I haven't had to take an antihistamine to take down the puffiness. I always plan a day at home after the procedure anyway because people do tend to stare at the weird red circles all over my face and neck and I get tired of explaining what I've had done. The worst part is walking out through the reception area because everyone stops talking for a second when they see me since I look like someone took a hot car lighter and stamped all over my face with it. Second to that is when I stop at a light and the person next to me looks over, then quickly looks away in horror.

I also bought the new lash miracle, Latisse. As always, there are bargains galore at Dr. Moore's House of Beauty and they were running a Mother's Day special on it. I got a two month supply for the price of one, which was a great deal. On the downside, I will have to wait as it's on back order. Obviously every woman in Valdosta plans on having thick lashes too. I have seen the results on staff members there that are using it and I am impressed. I promise as soon as I get it into my well manicured little hands I will take a picture of my thinning lashes so that we will be able to watch the results.

Have a happy Tuesday and send some healing energy toward my face today!

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva