Don't Make Me Go Lady Gaga On You

Meet my latest style crush, Lady Gaga. Is she too die for? Unless you are dead or a die hard country music fan (same difference), you surely have heard at least one cut from "The Fame", her breakout, bestselling album.

She makes me want the '80's back so bad. I would have so loved to rock this look in my club years. She makes me miss the good old days of dancing wildly at Weekends or Backstreet, absolutely floating on MDMA. Nothing like being queen of the starlight ballroom bouncing around in your crinolines with a big old "X" grin on your face.

Obviously I'll probably have different memories of my youth than the other people in my future old folks home. Now that I'm don't engage in risky, or risque' behavior anymore, I'm going to live to be a very ripe old age. I fall between the Boomers and Gen Xer's, so I'm hoping by the time I get to the home that there will be some better options available. Nursing homes seem depressing to me. I'd have way better music and maybe a rave night instead of bingo. Perhaps cultural adventures to Burning Man instead of museums and art galleries.

I know I'm closer in age to Madonna now than Lady Gaga, but Miss M just isn't doing it for me anymore. I couldn't get into her English Madge look, and now she seems to just be a caricature of her '90's self. Plus, despite that big stallion she rides around on (the horse, not the child model), she always looks pissed off in every picture taken of her. What the hell does she have to be bitter about?

Now rumor has it that my new friend, Lady G, had a Madonna sized temper tantrum this week at a New York restaurant. Apparently she has a specific china tea cup and saucer set that she prefers to sip her ginger tea from and oh my god, she misplaced it. Or in diva style, someone else misplaced it. So her rant runneth all over everyone present, truly cementing her diva status. I'd give her a 10 on the demanding bitchiness scale.

Now obviously I can't copy her style because I'd end up looking like Sylvia Miles, but I can do demanding bitchiness with my eyes closed. So I am now trying to cultivate some odd object that I can't possibly leave the house without. She has china, Chelsea has her midget, and Kathy has her gays, so what is left for poor Cult Diva? I must think on this.

I'll even consider suggestions.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva