BOO! Scared the shit out of you right? What is that big lipped horror up above? Is it Angie? Is it Lisa Rinna? Is it Scarlett J.?
No silly girls; it's just me Cult Diva an hour post Juvederm. I am so dedicated to my craft and to my viewing audience that here I sit with my totally numb face and enormous puffy lips just to let you know what lip augmentation with filler looks like. Later, when the swelling goes way down, I'll take another picture. At least this time my upper lip isn't flipped up and exposing my big huge front teeth; that's a terrifying look. Everyone always sees before and after shots, but I think it's time for an "in between" shot.
I am used to this look now as I have filler shot into my lips on a regular basis to fill in my slightly uneven lip line and to plump them up a little. I find they are getting a bit thin and flat with aging, and all the DuWop Lip Venom in the world can't quite plump them the way Juvederm does.
I went to my favorite local beauty doctor, Bridgett Moore, and as always she and her staff were running their feet off. I like that she's so busy, it means she's worth waiting for. Today she was especially popular and I was there from 11:30 until 2. I sat and read all the new beauty magazines and got caught up, so no big deal.
She does a nerve block in my upper and lower gums before we start, so I am completely numb from my eyeballs to the base of my neck. Then she starts putting the shots of Juvederm in and molding into my lips with her fingers. Twenty minutes later, me and my ice bag are out of there, easy as you please. I love my big old lips once the hideous swelling has gone down. I remember the first few times I had Juvederm I would run to the mirror about every twenty minutes to see if I looked normal yet; now I know that by morning I won't look like a circus freak anymore. This is not a procedure that you can do before a party, unless it's a kids party and you're a scary plastic surgery clown.
Juvederm is a filler made from hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring substance that is found in both the connective and epithelial layer of the dermis and also in cartilage. It helps the skin remain moist and plump; which of course is why I have it injected into my not so moist or plump face. Many creams and serums have hyaluronic acid as an ingredient and when it's applied topically it does have a temporary plumping effect. However, temporary is not my style.
I usually buy a full vial of Juvederm and then use what's left over for the next touch up. Dr. Moore charges me for the nerve block only on my touch up; I don't know if that's a standard policy or because I'm on some sort of frequent filler program. Probably the latter, as I am a really good customer. "Natural" and "beauty" are two words in my vocabulary that are rarely put together in a sentence when I describe myself.
The only draw back to lip filler right now is that I am drooling my Diet Coke out of my numb lower lip and can't feel it on my chin. The first picture I took (the one you won't see) shows a wet chin and a cute, new light colored t-shirt with a big, amber stain drizzled down the front.
Another draw back that is also temporary, is the inability to chew food without biting off part of your new big lips. I was starving after spending hours at Dr. Moore's office and attempted to eat some salad when I got home. After sinking my teeth into my swollen bottom lip and tasting blood I gave up and had a Myo-Whey Deluxe protein shake instead.
The biggest draw back to filler injected lips is the one your doctor does not tell you about however. I guess they realize you will probably figure it out on your own, so they just don't mention it. I never assume anything, and believe in addressing issues that others would prefer to ignore. It's also a temporary side effect, but I think is important enough to share, as it could potentially be a big deal for our partners.
My mom , (aka "Big Carole-Atlanta's oldest bartender"--who is 70, not 71 as I reported erroneously in a previous post---HUGE difference) reads my blog, so if you will excuse me for a moment I need to address her directly.
Mom, don't read any further. The rest of this post does not concern you, nor is it an admission of any direct knowledge of the subject matter I plan to discuss. Go find something interesting to do, like perhaps using your oxygen machine or returning to your endless "House" marathons.
Now that she's occupied elsewhere I can finish what I was saying. The biggest draw back to Juvederm or any filler that is shot into your lips is that your lips become a tad inflexible. This is only temporary and goes away after a week or two. If you were planning to give your partner any lip service, you will need a way to protect them from your big, bad teeth. Unless of course they're into that. It doesn't make them impossible to roll back, just a little bulky. I know Angelina Jolie supposedly doesn't have any lip filler, but sometimes I look at her and Brad and think, "hmmmmmmm". Perhaps that's why they keep filling their lives with all those excessive children.
Maybe it's a big lip thing. Angelina has big old lips and a bunch of kids. Octomom also has big old lips and passel of rug rats too. Madonna is about to adopt yet another child, and suddenly she is looking a little poutier too. Which comes first; the pucker or the kid? Do Lisa Rinna or Pricilla Pressley have a lot of unexplained children running around? Do I? Perhaps I should check the backyard for footprints. I guess I should be scared; all of my parenting skills have been expended on the Teenager. If I were to have more kids now, I would call Child Protective services and Nancy Grace myself. I had better put their numbers on my speed dial now, just in case.
No silly girls; it's just me Cult Diva an hour post Juvederm. I am so dedicated to my craft and to my viewing audience that here I sit with my totally numb face and enormous puffy lips just to let you know what lip augmentation with filler looks like. Later, when the swelling goes way down, I'll take another picture. At least this time my upper lip isn't flipped up and exposing my big huge front teeth; that's a terrifying look. Everyone always sees before and after shots, but I think it's time for an "in between" shot.
I am used to this look now as I have filler shot into my lips on a regular basis to fill in my slightly uneven lip line and to plump them up a little. I find they are getting a bit thin and flat with aging, and all the DuWop Lip Venom in the world can't quite plump them the way Juvederm does.
I went to my favorite local beauty doctor, Bridgett Moore, and as always she and her staff were running their feet off. I like that she's so busy, it means she's worth waiting for. Today she was especially popular and I was there from 11:30 until 2. I sat and read all the new beauty magazines and got caught up, so no big deal.
She does a nerve block in my upper and lower gums before we start, so I am completely numb from my eyeballs to the base of my neck. Then she starts putting the shots of Juvederm in and molding into my lips with her fingers. Twenty minutes later, me and my ice bag are out of there, easy as you please. I love my big old lips once the hideous swelling has gone down. I remember the first few times I had Juvederm I would run to the mirror about every twenty minutes to see if I looked normal yet; now I know that by morning I won't look like a circus freak anymore. This is not a procedure that you can do before a party, unless it's a kids party and you're a scary plastic surgery clown.
Juvederm is a filler made from hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring substance that is found in both the connective and epithelial layer of the dermis and also in cartilage. It helps the skin remain moist and plump; which of course is why I have it injected into my not so moist or plump face. Many creams and serums have hyaluronic acid as an ingredient and when it's applied topically it does have a temporary plumping effect. However, temporary is not my style.
I usually buy a full vial of Juvederm and then use what's left over for the next touch up. Dr. Moore charges me for the nerve block only on my touch up; I don't know if that's a standard policy or because I'm on some sort of frequent filler program. Probably the latter, as I am a really good customer. "Natural" and "beauty" are two words in my vocabulary that are rarely put together in a sentence when I describe myself.
The only draw back to lip filler right now is that I am drooling my Diet Coke out of my numb lower lip and can't feel it on my chin. The first picture I took (the one you won't see) shows a wet chin and a cute, new light colored t-shirt with a big, amber stain drizzled down the front.
Another draw back that is also temporary, is the inability to chew food without biting off part of your new big lips. I was starving after spending hours at Dr. Moore's office and attempted to eat some salad when I got home. After sinking my teeth into my swollen bottom lip and tasting blood I gave up and had a Myo-Whey Deluxe protein shake instead.
The biggest draw back to filler injected lips is the one your doctor does not tell you about however. I guess they realize you will probably figure it out on your own, so they just don't mention it. I never assume anything, and believe in addressing issues that others would prefer to ignore. It's also a temporary side effect, but I think is important enough to share, as it could potentially be a big deal for our partners.
My mom , (aka "Big Carole-Atlanta's oldest bartender"--who is 70, not 71 as I reported erroneously in a previous post---HUGE difference) reads my blog, so if you will excuse me for a moment I need to address her directly.
Mom, don't read any further. The rest of this post does not concern you, nor is it an admission of any direct knowledge of the subject matter I plan to discuss. Go find something interesting to do, like perhaps using your oxygen machine or returning to your endless "House" marathons.
Now that she's occupied elsewhere I can finish what I was saying. The biggest draw back to Juvederm or any filler that is shot into your lips is that your lips become a tad inflexible. This is only temporary and goes away after a week or two. If you were planning to give your partner any lip service, you will need a way to protect them from your big, bad teeth. Unless of course they're into that. It doesn't make them impossible to roll back, just a little bulky. I know Angelina Jolie supposedly doesn't have any lip filler, but sometimes I look at her and Brad and think, "hmmmmmmm". Perhaps that's why they keep filling their lives with all those excessive children.
Maybe it's a big lip thing. Angelina has big old lips and a bunch of kids. Octomom also has big old lips and passel of rug rats too. Madonna is about to adopt yet another child, and suddenly she is looking a little poutier too. Which comes first; the pucker or the kid? Do Lisa Rinna or Pricilla Pressley have a lot of unexplained children running around? Do I? Perhaps I should check the backyard for footprints. I guess I should be scared; all of my parenting skills have been expended on the Teenager. If I were to have more kids now, I would call Child Protective services and Nancy Grace myself. I had better put their numbers on my speed dial now, just in case.
Here's the lips after two hours. Still a little lumpy, but not quite as scary as before. I look like just a few wasps have attacked me, and not the entire nest. I have a lot of bruising that's now covered by lip gloss and thankfully the nerve block has worn off so that I can feel my face again.I'm off to go have a glass of wine now that I know it won't end up down the front of my shirt. There's now more countdown time until my kinder half gets home. His flight was getting in tomorrow morning, however it was cancelled. Now he's stuck in Dubai until he can get another one. He called for sympathy and all I could say was "Boo Fucking Hoo".
"Stuck" in Dubai indeed. Stuck refers to being at the airport/stockade yard that is Kazakhstan's Atyrau "International" airport. I hear they have two soft drink machines now and a snack machine that sometimes has actual snacks in it. Plus, when the wind is blowing the right way the barnyard stench is almost undetectable. Dubai's airport has a duty free floor or two of stores that you could spend a most of your vacation in, plus several restaurants and a hotel. There's probably a spa too. The whole country is one big shopping center/spa/beauty services mecca. Finally someone got it right...let's build a country for women! I'll post on that another time as this is the country to go to for a girl vacation.
Love and Lumpy Kisses,
Cult Diva
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