Faking Spring Break

I haven't done a product endorsement post in a while, so I thought Sunday morning would be the perfect time to clue everyone in on some goodies to try this season. I was inspired partly because I'm not actually going to get to go on a Spring Break as I am too old and something the Teenager said this morning.

Remember, he too is full of fashion sense and snark, so I may even invite him to post some of his photos and editorial comments on here. He was rooting around in the refrigerator this morning looking for something low calorie to consume when he popped his head out and loudly proclaimed "cheap body spray!". Now remember, he and I are always on the same wavelength, so I immediately responded "I hate them too! Are there some in the refrigerator?" "No, but there is some strawberry-banana sugar free Jello and it reminded me that all the girls on my bus keep spraying themselves with cheap, smelly, fruity body spray.", he replied. I went back to staring at my computer screen waiting for the blog post muse to visit, and of course, there she was staring me in the face. I understand switching to lighter scents in the spring, but if your scent comes from Dollar General, you may want to rethink it a bit. I smelled quite a bit of it at the gym this weekend too, so added to the fact that the Valdosta YMCA smells as though it were built over an ancient Indian outhouse, you could also detect a faint hint of peaches and coconut mixed in.

Now the real smell of Spring Break is a compilation of sweat, alcohol, sun tan oil, vomit, and hormones. However we are not going for reality here; beauty is all about fantasy, not reality. So one of my favorite picks for a fun Spring Break scent is Compitor Sud Pacifique's Aloha Tiare. This was the first perfume created in their line and is a soft, creamy version of the scent of tiare flowers, or Tahitian gardenias. It's mixed with just enough vanilla, coconut, and ylang-ylang to give it a "beachy" feel. It's also affordable and long lasting, plus smells better than whatever peach, cucumber, bamboo,or vanilla body spray mixture you were tempted to buy at the dollar store. Here's a heads up: women of style and breeding never purchase fragrance where they purchase toilet paper or cleaning products.

Bath and Bodyworks also does a line featuring Tiare as a focal note. Their limited edition "Ile de Tahiti" line smells divine, and when they offer it I normally buy up as much as will last through the summer. I'm not so crazy about the cologne; it's a bit cloying, but I do love the body wash and lotion.

For your glowing spring complexion I suggest lots and lots of sex. If that's not an option, then you'll have to make do with Guerlain Meteorites Light Diffusing Perfecting Primer. I know it's a mouthful, so just say "Meteorites" and we beauty folks will know what you are talking about. It's a gel based, oil free primer composed with little luminescent pearls of color. It blends into your skin and gives you a glowing, dewy look as though you were actually getting some. Combine it with the Meteorites powder in Beige Chic (don't forget to buy the Kabuki brush) and your friends will never know you sit at home alone every weekend with your cheap box wine and seventeen cats.

For eyes go simple. Remember, this is one of those "no-makeup" looks. Now no one actually looks good after the age of twelve without makeup of some sort. I personally love women who smugly proclaim that they look better without makeup.I look at their haggard little faces and nod in evilly amused agreement. Then I always try to stand next to them in group photos. Now for the simple eye you will want to give your lower and upper lid a very light wash of Stila's "Kitten" eyeshadow. It's a fun, shimmery golden pink that looks great with every eye color. Then take a little of MakeUp Forever's Aqua Eye liner in "Bronzed Green", and smudge it into the upper lash line plus very lightly under the lower lashes. Brush your brows into place with a little gel and add a coat of mascara if you have pale lashes. Then go find a "no makeup" sort of gal to stand next too. Enjoy all the attention.

For cheeks I'm doing Benefit Boxed Powders in their new shade; CORALista. It's a little like Nar's Orgasm, a pinky coral that is universally flattering. I like all their cosmetics actually, especially the uber girly packaging. Benefit is my favorite line, next to Smashbox, for "natural" looks.

For lips my very favorite is Dior Kiss Luscious Lip Plumping Gloss Sheer in Mango Soda. It's a translucent gold touched sunset in the Keys sort of coral that gives your lips just enough color. The plumping action isn't great, but then again do remember that my pout is collagen enhanced, so I am never impressed with over the counter remedies.

Now cover the rest of your fabulousness with serious sunscreen, mix yourself a cocktail, and sit out at the pool (real or imaginary) and enjoy Spring Break.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva