Wallis Redux

You know I love all things Posh, but for the last year I have had a strange tickle in back of my mind every time I look at her.....she and the oh so lovely Becks remind me of someone else. Some one more British than British. Someone impossibly thin and tan. Someone famous for being beyond fabulous, yet vapid at the same time. What other globetrotting expatriates floating from fashion shows to parties to yet more frivolous activities are they the modern embodiment of ?

Of course! The classic silhouettes, Kelly bags, jewels, fashion style, smirky expression...

The Windsors!

God no, not any of the pedestrian modern day ones. They're far to inbred to be truly interesting. Except for Harry, the half blood prince. No, not Potter, the red headed one with the unfortunate sound bite situation. I guess he's back off to charm school. They are running out of countries where he can insult the indigenous people. Why not send him to Rome...yet another red haired Harry to piss off a pope.

I was referring to the diva status Wallis and the former Edward VIII. Mention style, class, elegance, and scandal in the mid-twentieth century and inevitably this couple would be mentioned.

Now the fabulous Beckham's haven't had scandal yet...but you can bet I'm standing by breathlessly awaiting the first waft of it. Hopefully it won't smell like those tragically cheap pongs they created for Coty.

However, like Wallis' past, Posh's career has been full of missteps. We all remember the Spice Girls. Then there was her solo career. Yawn.

Her career as an author spanned two epic books that raced to the nearest used book stores despite high sales (yes I'm a shallow book whore too, I bought one). Victoria's ghostwriter on "That Extra Half an Inch" must have laughed his ass off over the title. He probably watched a porn the night before with the same title and suggested it just for fun.

Then there was the dreadful dVb jean and sunglasses line. Neither was horrible looking, but for the price one would expect something a bit more. That awful star on the back pocket looked like something Sears would brand on it's line of jeans...too tacky.

However, thank god Becks makes an ass load of money from all of his endorsements, because god knows it's not from his occasional soccer appearances. He must have a little left over from her shopping, as she has launched another facet to her clothing line. Dresses.

And they're fabulous. They actually look like something she might wear, and you would want to so that you could look like her. Design assistance came from friend Roland Mouret, but inspiration is totally her. These dresses are classic, lean, elegant, and more expensive than most of us can cough up. Not that that has ever stopped anyone. When the passion for fashion strikes...

Which brings me back to the Duchess (the original, not Fergielicious). Victoria Beckham's current style reminds me so much of the fabulous Wallis. Let's look at their similarities:

Short, tight hair.
Angular, lean body. Perfect for showing off couture.
Herme's bags.
Jewels.
Structured, classic clothes, with subtle rich details in luxe materials.
Obviously the brains of the couple.
Lack of expression, though still photographs divinely in a stiff, artificially posed way.


Look:






















If Wallis had a granddaughter, Posh would have to be it. But she didn't have any children, as childbirth is not fabulous. Plus there were always those nasty rumors about weird Asian sex rituals, S&M, transgenderism, ect. I personally think Edward and Wallis enjoyed dressing up and globetrotting more than sex. I heard a rumor once that when they were out alone with each other, she recited the alphabet slowly and with exaggerated facial expressions to him so that it appeared they were having an animated conversation.

I've never actually heard the Beckham's having conversation, I missed all five minutes of their reality show. But in my imagination they sound a lot like Spike and Druscilla from the old "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" series. If you were a fan, you probably know exactly what I'm saying. If not, run out and get season 2--on sale at Walmart.

Now Posh and cute husband love to do lovey photos together, but I don't see her getting all mussed up with sheet wrestling myself. And then there's her body. No child has marred those hip bones. Truthfully, I think Posh and Becks probably went to a celebrity baby farm to get their three. You know, the place they recommended to Katie and Tom. Where they got that cute little Suri at...

And then there's the quote. Which woman said this:

"I am not a beautiful woman. I'm nothing to look at, so the only thing I can do is dress better than anyone else. If everyone looks at me when I enter a room, my husband can feel proud of me. That's my chief responsibility."

Could be either. If you look at either woman's face, they are dramatically plain. Posh's nose is positively snout like. Wallis had a harsh, masculine beak. But these women changed an empire. Wallis got her man to give up a throne, and Posh got hers to turn his back on Manchester United. Both couples roamed the earth afterward, drifting fabulously from place to place doing not much of anything. But these women have made an art of their public image. Posh's clothing line is strongly influenced by one of Wallis' favorite designers, Mainbocher.

I'll give you a free fashion history lesson here, I did put down my compact for that class.


Mainbocher was an iconic American designer based in Paris. He started in fashion journalism and later became the editor of French Vogue. In 1929 he decided he could do fashion better than some the French couturiers and opened his own house. His first collection in spring of 1930 was a hit. His lean and elegant styles were timeless, sadly he is most famous for Wallis Simpson's wedding dress and not any of the other fashion innovations he pioneered. He created the first boned strapless bodice in 1934 and introduced the classic cashmere evening sweater in the '50's. He also designed the first couture inspired pret a porter uniform for working women. He created the uniforms for the Navy's WAVES, the Girl Scouts, and the American Red Cross. Here's a few of his designs:






























Like his work, the dVb dress line is beautifully crafted, both inside and out. Pricey? Mais oui! Worth it? Absolutely. The detailing of these dresses is rich and subtle and the silhouettes are timeless. If you wore the same thing for several seasons you actually could with these dresses. Out of a line of ten, there's not a loser among them. Here's a few shots of my favorites:

Gorgeous! Now if I could just get my mitts on one! They don't release in the US until February and I have been unable to price one at Selfridges--though I hear they are sold out. Despite the recession, which says something about the style and quality of these dresses. Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman will be carrying them in the States....hope she does a shoe line too!

Anyway, that's our post for Monday. The Teenager is languishing with illness and I am pretending to parent. I made him two grilled cheese sandwiches and poured ginger ale. Now he is bored. Despite his boredom with quality television on VH1 and MTV, at least his little friends are all texting him non-stop. It was so much easier when he was little and I could just give him cold medicine. Then he fell peacefully asleep for several hours and I got "me" time. You know, the same cold medicine you give them when their really sick, not just when you're sick of them.

Must go, the boy needs his temperature taken again.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva