My Favorite BFF-Joe Zee

Yes honey! Now Joe Zee, the fabulous and flamboyantly gay Creative Director of Elle magazine doesn't actually know he's my best fashion fag friend, but at least I have famous imaginary friends unlike some delusional people.

Every girl needs a bff and before you say "fag hag", let me tell you I know better than to stereotype gay men. I know every gay man out there is not a fashion queen, doesn't have a group of girlfriends he hangs with, isn't always close to his mother, isn't into the 3D experience (disco, decorate, dish). I have heard there are some that can't dress themselves, but having grown up in Atlanta I think this might be a vicious urban legend started by some closeted evangelical type. Not meaning you, Ted Haggard.

That bitch is so over sensitive these days....

Anyway, living in the highly closeted Deep South I miss having a really good gay male friend to keep me from indulging in fashion disasters. Someone to dish with about Project Runway or Top Model. Middle of the night emergency calls to comment on award show dressasters....

Let me tell you about having a gay male friend versus a straight male friend. I personally love both as I've always enjoyed the company of men over females. But straight male friends, no matter how "emotionally" close you think you are, still picture you naked when you think they are listening to you natter on about your day....

Your gay friend on the other hand, listens with one side of his brain and critiques your ensemble with the other. You are dressed better in his mind...

If you have a straight man for a friend you have intelligence, wit, and a vagina that with luck and a few drinks he might see one day.

If you have a gay man for a friend you have intelligence, wit, and style. Or backstage access to Cher, Madonna, Celine, Kathy. Or your willing to loan him your new car to pick up that cute guy at the airport that he met online. All friendships have some give and take!

What do you get out of it? Let's look over the salient points:

The best men advise ever. You and your girlfriends have all sorts of silly theories to men's behavior and thought patterns. Your gay bff is a man and can dispel you of any illusions to your new crush's behavior. Didn't call you after last Saturday night? He's not dead, ill, or busy. He's over you now that he got some. He'll call when he wants Chinese again.

What's Chinese? Anyone that's cheap, fast, and delivers.

Your gay bff talks fashion, walks fashion, is fashion. Inevitably better dressed than you, he is an icon you can look up too. Even if he hurts your feelings by telling you that you're too old for Vivienne Westwood.

It's for your own good. Really. If he has to have a fruit fly buzzing around, the least you can do is be a really pretty and fabulous one. Men are competitive about everything you know...This man will never let you leave the house looking bad, unlike girlfriends.

He always has the best gossip about everyone. His ability to get people to confide in him after a few cocktails is legendary. Oh wait, don't you confide in him too?

Always knows how to handle an awkward situation gracefully. Ever walked into the A-list party of the season and realized you've slept with most of the people there? Well, so has he. Now instead of slinking around the perimeter of the room looking embarrassed all evening, you can sit in the best people watching corner and compare hilarious notes while you laugh uproariously that the tall blonde uses the same tired technique on everyone...sad....

So I sit here in fashion wasteland with no one to tell me fashion truth. Except for Joe Zee. Elle has become my bible these days, even over W...and that's saying quite a bit.

Unfortunately, there has been some ugly buzz that Elle is too "gay" now. What's that? It's fashion for god's sake. If it were NASCAR, I would understand, but we're talking clothes, cosmetics, fabulousness....

Not having a gay man at the helm of a high fashion magazine makes about as much sense as Ellen's Covergirl ads for foundation. What dimwit at Covergirl decided the aging lesbian population wasn't being marketed aggressively enough to? Nothing against Ellen, I love her. But what, did Chapstick not want her because it's tired of being associated with gay women?

Thank you Joe Zee for being my friend! Thank you for talking fashion to me. I try occasionally to talk fashion with my kinder half, but bless him, he's clueless. I mentioned my post yesterday on the similarities between Victoria Beckham and Wallis Simpson and he remarked that Wallis Simpson wasn't British. He also thinks Posh is too skinny.

Horror! I have to go buy the new February Elle to get over it!

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva