I love me some Golden Globe Awards

Last night I lounged around waiting for the train wreck that is the Golden Globe awards. First of all who cares what the Foreign Press Corps thinks? This is just an excuse for everyone to dress up and go out so that some can get a meaningless award and others can make fun of them.

Last night did not disappoint at all. Thank the gods the current conservative administration is out (perhaps they are rapturing) and the new fun group is in. The last few G.G's have been dull, I am surprised they didn't start things with a prayer session. But last night was the booze and drug fueled party we all want to see televised. Just having Robert Downey Jr. and Mickey Rourke in the room was a contact high. Now lets dish!

Wasn't that thoughtful of Laura Dern to give her hairdresser the night off? I got a warm fuzzy thinking of Laura whipping out her Clairol hot rollers and braving it out herself. The resulting half up/half down with the little flipped up bangs was very junior high dance. Shame, because her dress was retrofabulous and perfect for her in a rather gawky way.

Salma Hayek looked the same as always. Fabulous, but no real range. Great dress, great hair, exploding bosom. Do all Spanish/Latina girls find one look and never deviate? That explains so much about Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Lopez, and Ricky Martin. Jennifer's bun; does she keep all her old wedding/engagement rings in there?

Now poor Miss Mendes is a whole 'nother story. It must be the poor Cuban refugee thing. She must be sleeping with someone really important as she keeps cropping up in fairly large budget movies and has no talent whatsoever. She has to be past her cut off date to be the next big bombshell by now and that stale pageant dress last night said it all. It was ugly when she first wore it in the Miss East L.A pageant of 1986 and even worse now. What happened to her hair? I can say no more without sounding catty and I would hate that.

Drew. We all love her and applaud her sobriety. But isn't it so much fun when the veneer cracks? Actually I looooovved the John Galliano dress. But what I loved most was the hair. It was Marilyn Monroe at her Seconal and champagne best. I felt like any moment she might start singing Happy Birthday to someone. Didn't you love when she came out as a presenter? She reeled around with that big Ecstasy grin and just loooved everyone while poor old Jessica Lange tottered out holding on to her for dear life. I think Drew might have flown if possible. And here is another thing I have to get off my chest while we are here. Don't send naturally aging stars out next to artificially aging ones, or even sit them next to each other. It was painful to look at the wreck of the Lang, then look at the waxiness of the other old stars in the audience. At least Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, and Susan Sarandon sat somewhat close together, so they didn't look as awkward as some pairings, i.e Ms. Moore and the son she never had.

Best part of the evening though surely was when Heath Ledger won for best supporting actor. The look on Tom Cruise and Robert Downer Jr.'s faces was priceless. Robert actually had to put his shades on momentarily after snorting a huge amount of something that materialized out of somewhere. And rightfully so! The other nominees were fabulous in their respective roles. All Heath Ledger had going for him is that he is dead. DEAD. He's been dead for a while. I make no apologies here, but he is getting more honors dead than alive. It's tiresome, and lets move on people. I know Robert Downer was thinking of all the times he has almost overdosed and no one gave him an award for that, right? And Tom Cruise.....well look for some scary things from the Scientologist contingent this year....his Thetans were acting up. I think he deliberately called down Renee Zellweger to present an award in that otherworldly voice, 'do, and ensemble. Then she vaporized back to where ever it is she goes between public appearances......

On a fashion note though, I did love all the low ponytails and stylized chignons. Finally some done looking hair to go with the dresses and jewels. Except Cameron Diaz, who couldn't find time to get her roots done or run a comb through her seasick locks. She did wrap a fun pareo around her bikini, though I don't think menopausal melon is really her color.

I just can't get into Mickey Roarke right now. I love that he won a richly deserved award, "The Wrestler" is pure genius. He was lost for a while, but is now back. Sadly I promise we will lose him again, but oh well. Where would True Hollywood Story be without train wrecks? We would be stuck with perky stories about dull people like the Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus.

I can't leave without a nod to Brad and Angie. They looked positively bored. Maybe their just tired of all those dreary children. He table hopped a little, and she sat there scratching a tattoo and smiling wanly at nothing. They are pretty though. I emailed their PR slave recently. I'm trying to get them to adopt the Teenager, they don't have a South Georgia child yet. He's pretty, underprivileged and old enough to babysit the other ones. I think we have a good chance!

Well, all we have to look forward to now is the Oscars and believe me I am scratching days off the calendar. Have to go get the claws done now and discuss important things like nail polish with my nail Goddess, Kim.

Big Kisses,

Cult Diva